Archive for the "What if" Category

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Things to do and not to do when you are bored

Things to do when you have nothing to do

  • GO out with a girl
  • Get drunk
  • Play with your console
  • Listen to music
  • Play with yourself (yes you can Billy)
  • Go out for a drive

Things NOT to do when you have nothing to do

  • Do not film yourself wearing “girl clothes”
  • Do not play hide the sausage with your same sex friend
  • Do not parade around the house in your parents shoes (at age 20)
  • Do not listen to “sexually dubious” music
  • Do not pretend you are your mother
  • Do not beg your ex-girlfriend to get back with you
  • Do not stalk your ex-girlfriend because she doesn’t want to get back with you
  • Do not have sexual intercourse with the kitchen table (or any other furniture item in the house)
  • DO not eat until you are to fat to go through the door

I could put more items in this list but i ran out of ideeas , but you get the point :)

Coca Cola Overlords

These are the future lords of the World
We all love Coke and can not live without it . Cola is the fuel of the internet , everyone online is working overtime , and if you don’t want to fry your liver stay away from coffee and have a coke . Saying this there is no way we can change our destiny .
It seems they attacked Japan first but soon they will arrive in US . Everyone , get ready and prepare cold ice tall glasses

Welcome you sweet sweet rulers , and shower us in your black nectar

And we have to say they look rather cool

When can i expect them in my state ?
Thanks to livegrids.net

How to build a home made Nuclear Reactor

What can i say  .. some people think this video is fake , some believe it .. that is not important . What is important is the fact that people are interested in building home made Nuclear Reactors. What for ? to guard themselves from the evil half human – half postman creatures that lurk the front lawn .

Why would anyone try this is beyond me, yeah of course i would like to make my own justice and be the ruler of an entire NUclear Winter filled territory .

I have to say this , if you build the Reactor in the garage , you better have some good relations with the ruskis because you will not get the radioactive beans from the US . They keep the beans for themselves , to breed radioactive bald chimps .

Mashed Potatoes for the Koalas

Well it seems like the little koalas so furry and cute are in danger. The reason is our retarded ways of consuming all our planet’s resources and producing enormous quantities of CO2 .

Well that carbon dioxide is getting in the eucalyptus leaves , the only thing that these lazy animals eat, and it is affecting the balance of nutrients.

I say one thing , it is way too late to change the level of CO2 in the air , in about 50 years we will have the technology to “fix” the athmosphere . Untill them lets teach the Koalas to eat something else. Maybe have a job ?! .

Ofcourse they will go extinct , those lazy “bear lookalikes” they eat only eucalyptus leaves and sleep all day . How about some mashed potatoes huh ?

We eat it , are you better than us ? You koalas think you are so high and mighty ! Let me see you in 50 years when you are all like 10% of what you are now (numbers)

What would you do if you won the lotto ? (the smallest prize)

Let me draw a picture in your mind …

You are sitting on the couch with your thumb up your but , thinking it would have been great if you had money to do something (you don’t know yet)

Also pondering if you should get up in the morning to start searching for a job , the perfect job for you since you got canned 4 months ago .

Well , you where out at the mall today to stare at some teenage chicks like you always do on a sunday afternoon , bought a six-pack and some chips but you had some money left .. What to do ? Buy a lotto ticket .

Now you are sitting on the couch .. wait I have been through this already .. watching TV

You find yourself wining the lottery !

I bet you would be happy , thinking this is the start of a new life , a new page in your life . Well you later check your ticket and see that you did not win the grant prize , but the lowest prize ever .. You are a bit disappointed , but still in a good mood , you won some money !

After you collect the cash (after all the taxes and deducts), you see that you do not have as much as you thought , and realize that there will be no yacht , beach house , barely legal girls !?

All you have is enough to buy a baby seal ( it was your childhood dream ) and raise him in the tub next to your rubber duck in your small ass apartment .

There will sill be no job , no girl , just you and your baby seal , soon to be a fully matured seal that would have run away with your duck to join the circus .

You will be lonely again on the same couch , the same TV and yes the thumb :)

So , if you plan to win the lotto , do it big , because your trailer ass will not take the disappointment of the lowest prize !